Its been a long time coming, but the first batch of chicken books finally arrived at my door. These aren’t just any chicken books. Its a book I wrote but all family members contributed to every phase. The cover looks great. The story is funny. Its pictures are some of the best illustrations I’ve ever seen. From the story’s conception, its been the genesis of more than a thousand family smiles. For nearly two years we laughed about it every day.
Inside the book the artwork is fantastic. The illustrations are so colorful, the book is worth the price just for the illustrations. But the book is really hilarious and it eases you into the moral of the story. Its a chicken book which teaches about courage.
The Case of the Plucked Chicken belongs in the Family Project Hall of Fame.
Did I mention its one of the prettiest books ever?
As we begin creating illustrations for the very funny book, Case of the Plucked Chicken, I invite you to tell us what you think is going on in this picture. What do you think is going on here? Is it a race? Is the lady scared of a chicken? Whats up with that chicken? Is the chicken wearing shoes? Case of the Plucked Chicken, You’ll never look at a chicken the same!
For a limited time, Case of the Plucked Chicken is available free on Smashwords. Its available in all formats so you don’t need a Kindle or Nook to read it. You can read it from your computer. The only thing I ask is that you leave a review. It doesn’t have to be long. Just a few words will do. Please check it out. It won’t be free for much longer.
Follow this link: http://www.smashwords.com. Search for “Plucked Chicken”. Download . Start reading an try to stop laughing. Please, please please, leave a review.
Welcome to the world of the Flatulent Pumpkin. Its a fun world and magic. Of course there’s flatulence, but most of the time, almost all of the time, the huge orange vegetable did it, then did it again.
These stories are funny, unpredictable and more complex than your average child’s story. They are entertaining and captures the attention so well that children are tricked into learning lessons on character. Each story has its own theme. I’ll let you figure the theme to the first one. In the second story its easy to notice that the courage and responsibility of one individual saves the entire town. The third story has one of my favorite characters of all times. Since I’m trying to keep this the “no spoil zone”, I’ll leave you to find these lessons without me spoiling it for you.
These stories are not about human flatulence. They are more creative than that.
So let’s recap:
1. Flatulent Pumpkin stories are about magic!
2. Flatulent Pumpkin stories are entertaining!
3. Flatulent Pumpkin stories provides teaching moments!
4. Flatulent Pumpkin stories will make you laugh!
5. Flatulent Pumpkin stories are unpredictable!
6. There are three available and four more are planned.
These Creating stories about that would be no fun at all. Pumpkin stories are more creative than that.
One more thing! Here are one word titles of each story in order:
Dear Mr. Rodney, Daddy told me you were writing a book about flatulence. I just wanted to let you know, if you needed someone to do sound effects, I’m a girl who can fart on demand. Daddy made me prove it twice before I could send this message. Call me 🙂
It was the kind of workday that sucks the life out of you, so my two female co-workers and I sat gloomily at a table in the middle of the cafeteria. One of them brought up the fact that my three books are now available on Amazon. That’s when they started making jokes. These weren’t just any old jokes, they were fart jokes and they were good. One co-worker recounted scenario I originally named “Stealth Farting”. This sounded almost right so I corrected myself and re*titled it “Failure to Stealth Fart”. As I write this, I think the term is also not completely accurate. It’s really more like “Failure to Fart Covertly”. O.K., so this is still not perfect and I’ll get back to you if something better pops.
The jokes continued when my other co-worker started in on “Vicious Farting” then moved on to the classic “Dutch Oven” which, apparently, hangs around special relationships. The Dutch oven was the highlight of our lunch. Who cares that the rest of the workday might suck and that our table was getting a lot of attention from the cafeteria, our gloom was gone.
“The Flatulent Pumpkin”, “The Case of the Plucked Chicken” and “The Fart Who Came to Dinner” are ebooks available on Amazon and B & N. The instant these story titles enter the scene, people catch a case of the smileys and start giggling. I find this amazing that these books lift the mood among people who’ve never read them. The stories are about magic and I’m pretty sure that the magic in them is better than their flatulistic story titles. An hour later, while at my office, an unsuspecting co-worker comes by. What takes him by surprise is that one of my lunch partners brings up the book. He smiled, laughed and made his own jokes. We laughed with him because he’s funny and might be the most hilarious person we know. Seeing him crack completely up is a treasure. Perhaps it was meant to be that he came by our office on a day that sucked. He’s given me a new term to add to an upcoming book “The Pocket Guide to Cutting the Cheese”. He came by our office for serious work and got more than he bargained for. I’ll call it a “Momentary Flatulent Diversion”.
I want to thank each of my co-workers for such a wonderful day and your contributions to the flatulent universe. There is a term for what you’ve done and it’s already in one of the stories. I won’t spoil it now, but I bet that one day this new term will put a smile on your face.
Have a great day!
The Sheriff walked down the street thinking that he had to solve this case no matter what, and he had to do it fast. These runaway chickens were making it especially hard on the women. Some of them were being treated for a new condition the Doctor called ‘chickalunacy.’ This condition made them faint whenever they saw a chicken, someone asked them to cook chicken or make a chicken sandwich. There was a much more serious condition which made women run as fast as they could whenever they saw a chicken or heard someone say the word “chicken.” This might not seem so bad, but women were running into things and hurting themselves. The Doctor had named this condition ‘roosterrunaphobia’. There were so many cases of roosterrunaphobia, the hospital was completely full.
This is my first attempt at doing anything like blogging. So I sat down and prepared for the wave of inspiration to wash over me and words would push forth onto he screen magically. Sadly, there were no waves of inspiration. It was just me sitting at the computer with my hands on the keyboard. The computer screen stared back seemingly saying, “Diddiot, I’m waiting for you”.
About 2 years ago my family and I were having dinner at the kitchen table and an idea hit me. It felt like just another joke that left my lips. Little did I know it was more and would lead down a path-of-no-return. I can honestly say the idea burst onto the scene with a bang.
I’ll spare the details. However, it is fitting to say that the magic two words escaping my lips caused laughter. Minutes later, like a bowling ball going downhill, the laughter was still rolling and we kept having a blast.
Please understand that, at my home, dinner time is not very complicated. We do discuss serious things like work, school, plans and expectations. Most of the time we have fun. I would gladly wager that few families can top our dinner fun. We are not vulgar or anything of the sort. I’ll guess that dinner in our household is 20% nutrition, 20% serious talk, 20% family talk, 30% humor and 5% dog talk. Buddy is our beagle and, somehow, he commands his 5%. The other stuff comes to 5%.
The two words that cranked us up for an hour were “Flatulent Pumpkin”.
For a moment, let your mind wrap around a flatulent pumpkin. Then think, if a pumpkin were flatulent, wouldn’t it be cool if its flatulence did something other than move air and make you laugh?
Cool or not, that is all I’ll say on the blast at the kitchen table. I will invite you to imagine it.